Well, your demeanor is very ingrained into your personality. I doubt you can change it without a lot of effort. Even saying little things like "I routinely tell Wall Street headhunters to stop bothering me..." comes off as arrogant. Do you really not see that? Or do you just not care?

Let's put it this way: How arrogant you are perceived as can be measured by how many times you say "I".

And how condescending you are perceived as can be measured by how many times you say "you"

And how condescending you are perceived as can be measured by how many times you say "you"