In the trailer, it looks like Madi's parents had a bit of mixed feelings on her meeting Aaron - one was happy, the other scared. Since she ultimately ended up moving to live with him (or in the same building?), I wonder how they've reacted since then.
She's an adult so I guess the moving around bit is around right on time anyway, but it does bring up an interesting consequence to this sort of meet-up for younger children, where the kids believe that they'd enjoy living with their biological parent more than they enjoy living with the people that raised them. And it's certainly possible that they might.
When I found my biological mother the similarities were striking. She was a second generation programmer, similar interests, likes and dislikes, we had haunted similar places decades apart, loads of physical quirks. It's mind boggling to me how much of what I thought was my unique self was probably more controlled by genetic variables I had no idea were in play
The older I get the more I see this. Kids having characteristics they couldn't possibly have learned from those with whom they share them. It's uncanny.
I'm convinced that if you want to know what my father was like, look at my youngest child. He's very different from his two older brothers as my father was different from the rest of his family. And in the same ways-- studious, indifferent to sports (in Boston! Holy shit!). It's definitely not environment. We'll all be watching a game (even my wife) and he'll go read history or something.
In 1995, after a struggle with mental illness, Galland committed suicide. That same year, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Lawrence Wright published an article in the New Yorker shedding light on a disturbing psychological study. The scientific inquiry, masterminded by prominent psychologist Dr. Peter Neubauer and his Child Development Center, set out to answer the fundamental question of nature vs. nurture. Through the now-defunct Louise Wise adoption agency, an unknown number of twins and triplets were placed in different homes and secretly observed for years by researchers who diligently made home visits. (Parents were told these visits were standard, to track the adoptive children’s progress.)
My dad isn't in my life except for one meeting each at the ages of 9 and 16, but it is surprising how similar we are. He's almost pathologically obsessed with aliens (as am I) and he has a passionate HAM radio hobby. HAM radio is something I've always been interested in, but I'm young and in a math degree and I haven't had time to explore that too much, but before math I was considering electrical engineering. His smile is the same as mine. I look exactly like his sister. For a while I thought maybe my mom had stolen me from the hospital and we were unrelated, because I am 100% my father's child. He also has autism, which he apparently passed on to me.
"But it was Alice’s, entitled “A series of awkward events separated by snacks,” that floored me.
Hers was a hodgepodge of lists and memories written under duress (“Mom: Write or death!”). Favorite color: “Black. Like my soul.” Favorite holiday: “Halloween (because candy and murder).” She liked Alfred Hitchcock films. “Basically,” she wrote, “I’m an angsty teen in a child’s body.”
This kid’s 11?"
Forget the mother, make an entire article about that kid. Heck, let her write that article.
yeah I was one of those edgy kids and we've got a few younger kids like that in our family and it's unfortunately obvious as to why: the parents are not on good terms or the dad is missing
I find it jarring that someone calls people that they've never met "my children". I get it - biologically they are offspring, but IMO the language should reflect that being a father/mother/child means having a role in the upbringing, and reserve a separate name for mere passage of genes.
> reserve a separate name for mere passage of genes.
Genes are account for about 50% of the differences between people (with the other 50% being environment), so I don't know if "mere passage of genes" is a phrase that really makes sense. (Actually, "nurture" is less, because the 50% environmental component includes surroundings that parents have no control over: https://www.medicaldaily.com/nature-vs-nurture-debate-50-yea...)
At the age of 45, hoping to find some detail about my father I sent a cheek swab to FTDNA. Not only did I find him via a relative doing genealogy but he turned out to be a completely different person than I had thought! My aunts had been telling me it was wishful thinking on my mother's part because she was obsessed with who she wanted it be.
Can you imagine? Forty five years of not knowing who your real father is because someone refused to face reality! Unfortunately reading these threads on Reddit made me realize my story is all too common. All I can say is highly recommended if you're trying to discover your true roots.
I'm in a similar circumstance, being into adulthood having not identified my father (who is believed deceased). 23andMe didn't turn up any useful hints, but your story makes me think I should give some other services a try... thanks for sharing.
Long (and his mother) are in the middle, Bryce and Alice on the right, Madalyn is 2nd from left. Jessica (Alice's mother, and now Long's girlfriend) is at far left.
I found my biological mother just a few years back, right after I turned 18. There is not much better than being introduced as an adult to siblings and relatives and having your circle of loved ones expand overnight. This inspires me to write my story somewhere.
I was kinda on the other end of this, truly a wonderful experience. It's absolutely true that as soon as you meet someone related to you, it's completely obvious.
It's a funny story for me - one year in the fall, when I was about 12, my mom got in contact with her biological daughter, my oldest half-sister, so boom, new sister for Christmas.
Next year, my father confirmed that he was the biological father of my older half brother - boom, new brother for Christmas.
I sat both my parents down very seriously and said "This shit has got to stop. It's becoming a trend. Are there any others out there? Even the tiniest possibility?"
I didn't have the experience either one of you did, unfortunately.
The other side of my family sought me out when I was 26. My siblings are all 20 years older than me and my nieces and nephews all 6-10 years younger than me. They're nice people but they lived fairly normal New England Catholic upper-middle-class lives. I pretty much grew up broke and on the street in the seedier areas of old New York. We have very little in common.
It's probably my fault that everything didn't gel, but it's difficult accepting a completely new family as an adult when you already have struggles with your existing one.
Moreover, my father was a complete creep and I learned why my mother stayed away from him. The whole experience was very uncomfortable and very sad and we haven't spoken since.
> In the end, the sci-fi trappings of our love story are irrelevant: ...
Just before I got to this paragraph I was thinking how this article could have been a science fiction short story similar to ones I'd read back in the 80s or 90s.
I'm still waiting for my flying car, but we may be living in the future after all.
The nature/nurture party game is an incredibly fun and interesting idea. Tangentially makes me think that sperm donors are a ripe focus group for research on nature/nurture. Anything like this done already?
I already said this to someone above but check out the documentary "Three Identical Strangers." It's both enjoyable and will give you some interesting food for thought as to the ethics of nature/nurture research.
This is such a delightful story. Genetic testing turned the lost biological family from an enduring personal mystery into a Google search. Something that was supposed to be forever hidden was suddenly indexed. And lo and behold, blood is still thicker than water.
The evolutionary game theory of sperm donation is fascinating. On the one hand, there is the prospect of a huge number of offspring. On the other hand, donors are pairing their genetic legacy up with genes from people who are reproductively challenged.
Intelligent and hardworking but still don't want to take responsibilities of raising children as it takes too much time. Then sperm donation looks like a nice option.
Tangentially related is the recent documentary "Three Identical Strangers", triplets separated at birth who discover each other like you wouldn't believe.
What would happen if he had met another mom before the one of the story ? Would the same spell have happened ? Or was it a bit of luck the first mother was the one ?
I wonder if the features of the sperm (musician and maybe a photo) played a role in their compatibility. It is also possible that her attraction to the husband was proxied by the kids. It is also possible that she was a lesbian, before, because she failed dating men (much like the author being alone for failing to date woman). They just happened to share a lot in common and saw the good things in one another.
While it looks like mixed results at first, on closer inspection every one of those is for the same case. It appears that as of the latest ruling, he does not owe child support.
Interesting to actually put faces to the people being discussed in the piece.